Monday, June 28, 2010

新分居故事(给所有已婚。未婚的朋友)


网友与我分享。。我与你分享。。

給彼此这么大的空间,你~~~~~~做得到吗?


今年三十四岁的谢岱琳,是一家国际性公开公司的高级主管,也是出了十几本兩性婚姻、愛情书的專欄作家,然而,這一切成绩都不如她的「新分居」婚姻故事,令人津津乐道。

她的老公Jeff是個美国人,以前在 ICRT 工作,如今开一家软件设计公司。結婚五年多來,他們即无自己的房子,也沒有共組家庭,各自责屋居住,各有室友,而且谢岱琳的室友还是个男生呢!

「你們結婚,为什么不住在一起?」

 「我愛他,所以我嫁給他,卻不适合和他共同生活。」

谢岱琳說,他是个天真热情却邋遢自由成性的大男孩,衣服、裤子、鞋子脱到哪丟到哪,滿地都是。桌子、抽屜永远堆滿了沒用(要用又找不到)的账单、信件、工具、瓶罐。不知道是不是有很多人有这样的老公?也不知道人家是怎么解決的?

但对于崇尚自由自在又需要很多时间与空间思考企划案与写作的她來说,却受不了每天替他收拾殘局,勉強如是,只怕会变得唠唠叨叨,恋人也會变成怨偶。

常有人問她:他愛妳,不會为妳改变吗?」

「他已经这样生活了三十几年,过得很开心,为什 么要勉強改变?每个人都有自己的生活方式,我从不相信一个人的本性可以改变。」

说也奇怪,从恋愛四年多到结婚,他们从來沒有要找个「家」一起住的念头。

所以,他住在最愛的陽明山,她则选择便利的台北東區。周末假日一起度過,周一到周五见面两、三次,一起吃饭、看电影、社交。有時他到她家,或者她到他家,正如同婚前一样。他们相处方式很尊重尊彼此。

有时,他跟她通完电话后会说:「如果我等一下觉得寂寞,可以再打电话给妳吗?」
「你这么容易寂寞吗?」

「不是,而是我很容易想念妳。」

她说,给他一个想念的机会,可以对自己甜言蜜语,也是一种不错的感觉。他沒有她家的钥匙,到她家前一定先打电话联络好,问她好不好?是否在忙?

有一次他喝醉酒,渾身臭味直接跑到她家,她一边替他洗澡,一边哄他:「我已经很舒服的躺在床上看书,下次喝酒不要來这,直接回你的家好不好?亲愛的」

很多人知道他们的「新分居」故事后,又新奇又羨慕说:「如果我的婚姻关系也能如此,该有多好?」

她总是说:「假使你认为这样不錯,也适合你们,很简单呀,你搬出去,或他搬出去,或是你们一起搬出去。」

但是,接下來对方一定是一堆「可是」的话。究竟你要的是什么样的婚姻?何种关系才能使彼此得到最大的快樂?

谢岱琳记得 Jeff 的母亲在她婚前说过一段令她終身难忘的话:「妳有才華,又独立,我很喜歡也很羨慕妳。记得,妳绝对要保持这样,即使婚后,也要永远以自己 重心,不要把家庭或先生放在最前面,这个道理,我花了很多时间和代价才体会出來。」

原來, Jeff 的父亲曾经外遇,离家一年多。逼得母亲不得不出去找工作,变成一個亮眼的幹練女性。过了很久, Jeff 的父亲回來,看到原本懶得瞧一眼的老婆变得如此具吸引力,就回头了。

结婚、不结婚、同居、分居,都只是形式而已。

世界上每个人都不一样,每兩个人的关系也都不同,只要协调出最适合你们的形式,就对了。重要的是,要有成熟独立的人格,尊重自己也尊重对方,付出的愛于得到的愛才不会是负担,彼此的感情也才自由愉悅. 

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Preview - Repo Man

Thank to Omy... I got to preview this movie @ Cineleisure.
From the Synopsis....
In the futuristic action-thriller Repo Men, humans have extended and improved our lives through highly sophisticated and expensive mechanical organs created by a company called The Union. The dark side of these medical breakthroughs is that if you don’t pay your bill, The Union sends its highly skilled repo men to take back its property…with no concern for your comfort or survival.


Jude Law plays Remy, one of the best organ repo men in the business. When he suffers a cardiac failure on the job, he awakens to find himself fitted with the company’s top-of-the-line heart-replacement…as well as a hefty debt. But a side effect of the procedure is that his heart’s no longer in the job. When he can’t make the payments, The Union sends its toughest enforcer, Remy’s former partner Jake (Academy Award® winner Forest Whitaker), to track him down.

Now that the hunter has become the hunted, Remy joins Beth (Alice Braga), another debtor who teaches him how to vanish from the system. And as he and Jake embark on a chase across a landscape populated by maniacal friends and foes, one man will become a reluctant champion for thousands on the run.

To me...
This show is really a very BLOODY show... There's Blood in almost all the scene.. right from the very begining.. But it's rather a "Awakening" show.. and u dun have a little moment to "Relax" during the show.

Though this show is unmistakably a mess, it must be admitted that it contains some defiantly silly and entertaining moments

But I dun really quite like the ending.

1 tiny advise... Dun watch this show Before any of your meal..

But... I still went dinner with my movies kakis after this movie.. hahaha...

Monday, June 21, 2010

Father's Day

Father's Day, Mother's Day, V Day.. it's actually all just a normal day.. But i never fail to take this chance for a family gathering..

We dun need very elaborated Celebration. We dun need expensive food. We dun need Gifts..
Just spending time togather with the family is the best gifts we can give our parents. Simple Food... It's the thoughts that is enuff to make my parents smile.

My daddy is a man with a few words. But he always had this smile on his face. :) Love u Daddy!

Sunday, June 20, 2010

婚姻

最近听到很多朋友跟我说。。“我离婚了!”

心里想。。现在的婚姻已经不是一辈子的事了。。结婚。。离婚。。好像是儿戏。。
真得那么没价值吗?

在一起生活了几年。。这样就离婚。。那当初结婚时到底有没有想清楚呢?

但我也有几位朋友的父母也在办离婚。。我看他们一定是等到自己的子女都成家立业了。。才决定离婚。。过这自己想过的生活吧。。对自己好一点。。

可能。。离婚不是个坏事吧。。。

两个人一起久了,难免有些摩擦。然而,幸福的婚姻没有固定的模式。

婚姻里最重要的,是两个人相依相守,互相给予,相扶相携,一辈子都不离不弃,唇齿相依。

最终。。只要自己活出精彩。。活得开心。。那是最重要的。。

Thursday, June 17, 2010

10 Things Happy Couples Do

Don't forget to love.. and be loved..")

10 Things Happy Couples Do


Happy couples know that the real relationship begins when the honeymoon is over. They know that unless you maintain the garden of love, its beauty will wither and die.
1. Go to bed at the same time.
Remember the beginning of your relationship, when you couldn't wait to go to bed with each other to make
love? Happy couples resist the temptation to go to bed at different times.
They go to bed at the same time, even if one partner wakes up later to do things while their partner sleeps.

2. Cultivate common interests.
After the passion settles down, it's common to realize that you have few interests in common. But don't minimize the importance of activities you can do together that you both enjoy. If common interests are not present, happy couples develop them. At the same time, be sure to cultivate interests of your own; this will make you more interesting to your mate and prevent you from appearing too dependent.

3. Walk hand in hand or side by side.
Rather than one partner lagging or dragging behind the other, happy couples walk comfortably hand in hand or side by side. They know it's more important to be with their partner than to see the sights along the way.

4. Make trust and forgiveness your default mode.
If and when they have a disagreement or argument, and if they can't resolve it, happy couples default to trusting and forgiving rather than distrusting and begrudging.

5. Focus more on what your partner does right than what he or she does wrong.
If you look for things your partner does wrong, you can always find something. If you look for what he or she does right, you can always find something, too. It all depends on what you want to look for. Happy couples accentuate the positive.

6. Hug each other as soon as you see each other after work.
Our skin has a memory of "good touch" (loved), "bad touch" (abused) and "no touch" (neglected). Couples who say hello with a hug keep their skin bathed in the "good touch," which can inoculate your spirit against anonymity in the world.
7. Say "I love you" and "Have a good day" every morning.
This is a great way to buy some patience and tolerance as each partner sets out each day to battle traffic jams, long lines and other annoyances.

8. Say "Good night" every night, regardless of how you feel.
This tells your partner that, regardless of how upset you are with him or her, you still want to be in the relationship. It says that what you and your partner have is bigger than any single upsetting incident.

9. Do a "weather" check during the day.
Call your partner at home or at work to see how his or her day is going. This is a great way to adjust expectations so that you're more in sync when you connect after work. For instance, if your partner is having an awful day, it might be unreasonable to expect him or her to be enthusiastic about something good that happened to you.

10. Be proud to be seen with your partner.
Happy couples are pleased to be seen together and are often in some kind of affectionate contact -- hand
on hand or hand on shoulder or knee or back of neck. They are not showing off but rather just saying that they belong with each other.

Even if these actions don't come naturally, happy couples stick with them until they do become a part of their relationship.

They know that it takes 30 days for a change in behavior to become a habit, and a minimum of six months for a habit to become a way of life and love.


"Life is not about what you've gained, it's about what you've done"

Monday, June 14, 2010

得到幸福由你来决定

在某个地方,有一对情侣。女的叫邓惠璇,男的叫陈家宏。他们彼此喜欢。可是女方的家人反对,因为男的很穷。可是女的说:‘除了他,我谁也不会嫁’。。女方的家人只好勉强同意。

结了婚后,惠璇找到了一份工作,是做经理的助理秘书。时常都随经理出去开会,所以每天都要打扮得漂漂亮亮。有一天惠璇心情不好,便到楼下的酒吧喝酒。经理的秘书当时也在那间酒吧喝酒,便看到了惠璇。惠璇因为穷所以便用些便宜的口红,所以口红便沾到了杯子。经理的秘书看了便对她说:‘哎呀!做经理的助理秘书怎可以用些便宜的口红呢?’惠璇听了只好不好意思地走了。

一天,惠璇随家宏到一家百货公司逛街。突然,惠璇停了下来,正看着玻璃橱里的一支口红。家宏便走进去看那支口红。家宏问推销员那支口红多少钱,推销员说那支口红一支三百八十二令吉。家宏吓了一跳心想:要用我半个月的薪水,才能买到这支口红。便拉着惠璇走了。

他们时常都为了那支口红而吵架。不久,惠璇便提起要离婚。虽然家宏还是非常喜欢惠璇,但家宏还是只好勉强随从惠璇的意思。

离了婚不久,惠璇找到了一个富家的男子,名叫黄文龙。文龙给了惠璇一张白金卡,所以惠璇常常到大型的百货公司逛街。不久,惠璇终于知道文龙有外遇。便和文龙吵了起来,文龙忍不住便说:‘我给你钱花,你还管我干嘛?’惠璇便心痛得哭了起来。

某一天,家宏送惠璇一份礼物。惠璇拆了那份礼物,一看原来是上次在百货公司看到的那支口红和一张字条。字条上面还写着:对不起,惠璇。我上次不够钱买这支口红给你,现在我终于存到了三百八十二令吉,买了这只口红送给你。希望你会喜欢。其时我仍不变心还喜欢你。
惠璇终于明白:有钱不代表幸福,穷不代表不幸福,要真心喜欢才是正真的幸福。。

Saturday, June 12, 2010

歲月神偷

最近看了这部戏。。 很喜欢。。有着爱情,友情,亲情。。
在幻变的生命里,岁月,原来是最大的小偷

珍惜现在所拥有的。。
有家人。。一切都好说。。
家人之间。。要懂得谅解。。让步。。沟通。。

“再难也是要有信念。。。。”

在回家的路上。。这首歌就一直在我脑海里唱着。。

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

寻爱的过程

人生就是为了找寻爱的过程,每个人的人生都要找到四个人。


第一个是自己,

第二个是你最爱的人,

第三个是最爱你的人,

第四个是共度一生的人..

首先会遇到【你最爱的人】,然後体会到爱的感觉;

因为了解被爱的感觉,所以才能发现【最爱你的人】;

当你经历过爱人与被爱,学会了爱,才会知道什么是你需要的,

也才会找到最适合你,【能够相处一辈子的人】。

但很悲哀的,在现实生活中,这三个人通常不是同一个人;

你最爱的,往往没有选择你;

最爱你的,往往不是你最爱的;

而最长久的,偏偏不是你最爱也不是最爱你的,

只是在最适合的时间出现的那个人...

你是不是还在寻爱你的“那”个人。。
把自己照顾好。。
不生活过的好好的。。
“他”要出现的时候。。自然会出现的。。

Saturday, June 05, 2010

翹翹板

This is in my mailbox today and i find it quite meaningful.. So here it is...

~ 在这繁忙的都市里。。很多人已经把工作当成比生活还要重要的一部分。。。。要懂得怎么strike a balance 是有点难的。。
问题是。。站在这样的最高点能使你快乐吗?
而且像这样持在高处能持多久?
我想啊。。当“好人”永远比当“强人”来得重要吧!
因为啊。。踩着别人当强人实在容易的。
但呢。。只有好人才能找到真正平衡幸福的对高点。。!!

~~願大家都能找到自己在生活與工作上的平衡點 ~~

Thursday, June 03, 2010

ATTACHMENT

Rec this in my mail box today..

THE WORST IN LIFE IS "ATTACHMENT " IT HURTS WHEN YOU LOSE IT.

THE BEST THING IN LIFE IS " LONELINESS "
BECAUSE IT TEACHES YOU EVERYTHING AND, WHEN YOU LOSE IT, YOU GET EVERYTHING.

在某种程度上。。这句话还蛮真的。。
你认为吗?

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

After Watching 败犬女王...

那天看台湾剧《败犬女王》, 有几位朋友就在facebook写了:

男人和女人说谎的不同之处:
男人说谎是为了要让自己好过。女人说谎是为了要让对方好过。
女人选择欺骗,是因为不想伤害深爱的人。

这么说。。
做男人 好幸福喔!

劉若英 [ 繼續-給十五歲的自己]

这首歌。。我听了有慕名的感动。
希望你们会喜欢。
劉若英 [ 繼續-給十五歲的自己]

許茹芸 & 阿穆隆 - 男人女人

在每个人的世界里。。都有所谓的“对”和“错”
在分手的时候。。一切都是没道理。。
想开了。。值不值得,就很清楚了。。:)

Listen to the lyrics... It's so true..

許茹芸 & 阿穆隆 - 男人女人

爱爱爱爱了几回
也明白其中滋味
付出的从来不会等于收回
我却还在等待着谁能出现

伤伤伤伤了几回
也曾经为爱憔悴
爱情里好人总比坏人狼狈
我却还是学不会狠心对谁

男人男人多希望你是好人
多希望用你的真让我不必再心疼
女人女人我答应做个好人
我答应用我一生来换你的快乐一生

爱爱爱爱了几回
也明白其中滋味
付出的从来不会等于收回
我却还在等待着谁能出现

伤伤伤伤了几回
也曾经为爱憔悴
爱情好人总比坏人狼狈
我却还是学不会狠心对谁

男人男人多希望你是好人
多希望用你的真让我不必再心疼
女人女人我答应做个好人
我答应用我一生来换你的快乐一生

男人男人多希望你是好人
多希望用你的真让我不必再心疼
女人女人我答应做个好人
不会再让我(你)心疼一等再等
你就是我等的那个人

男人男人
女人女人
多么希望你是对的人